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Worst Lovers



I’ve been to Armani Exchange once and that visit was enough for me to request to never ever be taken there EVER again! The advertisement campaign should have been a signal in itself. How could I have been so blind? I mean, can a woman really be attracted to these dudes? Which agency are they from “Gino Model Management?” The boys look like some 2005 resurrection of Latino boy band Menudo. I am surprised the hired wardrobe stylist didn’t incorporate white square toe shoes and white belts into the equation – they were, as we so fondly remember, synonymous with 2005. She or he did, however, remember to grab the dog tags and large belt buckles from her or his vault. At least, alongside the white stuff, she or he left out the faux hawks. I apologize for the she or he thing – I am unaware of the stylists’ sex.

Seriously, this ad is making me nostalgic. It feels like I went back in time, flew to Ibiza, opened my suitcase, popped in that Daddy Yankee CD and while I was jamming to this reggaeton beat, I realized I forgot my white shirt! Great, how am I supposed to show up at the Tiesto album launch beach party and pop some pills without it? Is there a Le Chateau around here?

Not only is the stylist stuck in time, the photographer seems to have the exact same problem. Did you see the poses? OMG (something I learned in ’05 for ya)!! Analyzing this ad, AX’s target market becomes apparent: AX is targeting North American Italians that resemble the Gotti brothers (see Staten Island Guido story for more details), whereas Giorgio Armani targets REAL Italians, not ones that are trying so hard to live up to the stereotypes. I am talking about the good looking ones you’ll see in ITALY (it’s true, a friend proved me wrong as she discovered a set of extremely good looking men on her trip to Italy). Living in Canada I always thought Italians looked like AX guys because of the stereotypes most Italian people (or of any culture for that matter) fulfill about themselves when they are living abroad. How is this line still in business? AX is mere proof that because the word Exchange has the name Armani in front of it, it is considered a decent brand. AX please, stop giving Giorgio a bad name.

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Watch my feet, watch my feet

Sorry Vic but your husband wins this round! To tell you the truth, I have never enjoyed any of Marc Jacobs’ advertisements. I feel like they [the ads] try too hard, just like Dov Charney and the pretentious people who aim to “shock” at American Apparel.

I wonder, do Victoria and David discuss their latest campaigns at the dinner table? Did Victoria get jealous of David, which led to her getting the Jacobs contract? I just hate it when people try different things and fail miserably at it. Stick to what you know how to do, in Victoria’s case, I am not quite sure what that is.

Oh, and this seems to be another case of Versace. Remove celebrities from fashion advertising, it’s not a Pepsi commercial.

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